The final trip...

I lay there, just lying there on the floor shaking. How many had I taken? Seven, eight, ten of those pills? I might’ve even have taken the rest of the bottle. I opened my eyes enough to peer out. Whatever I looked I saw six of as it spun. I rolled onto my back not so gracefully.
As I stared at the ceiling, the fan spinning in circles, seem to hypnotize me. The room began to spin as if it were in a blender. Windows, walls, and the floor melded together. The dull colors of my studio apartment suddenly burst with color. Pinks and oranges sizzled while blues and teals crashed like waves. It seemed like I was seeing nothing but a giant lollipop that toddlers drool over in the candy shops.
A smile spread across my face as my crazy ride continued. A purple melody morphed into a dragon and began to soar across the scene. It danced in and out of the columns of color. It screeched but instead of fire over taking him it was a wave. It shimmered with yellows and gold with little flecks of scarlet. But this was not a wave of water or anything from nature but it was fabric. The mass of fabric increased but the rainbows of colors behind it dimmed.
First, I thought a ribbon of creamy white appeared but my vision panned out it became an arm. The arm let to a shoulder but it was marred with terrible wounds from what looked like a cat’s claws after a swipe. I continued to move about the figure’s body. I wanted to her eyes. When I look for her face I found it was covered by water lily pink wavy hair. I reached out to push it aside but a hand caught my wrist. A sudden breeze caught her hair it rushed it to the side and she gasped as she realized she was revealed. She turned her head so sharply as if she were trying catch it with her eyes.
Her eyes!! Why, they were filled with tears. She snatched her hands away from me covered her face.
“Your face? Can I see it? Please I just want to see it once more. Or just show me my eyes. Please I want to see.” I heard a voice echo around me. I looked around. I didn’t realize until now everything had gone to a everything had become a monochrome grey.
Again the voice rang but this time I couldn’t understand it. The speech slurred together. I searched the show of colors and patterns the figure that had now vanished. I didn’t see her anywhere.
One streak of color began to brighten into a brilliant fuchsia. It leaped out from the wall and began to spill around me. The color formed a ring as it spun. Gazing back at the grey walls it cracked. The gray swirls began to shatter and fall leaving empty blackness in its absence. It fell piece by piece below me into a bleak nothingness. But the fuchsia ring kept me from falling.
When all was black and silent except for the ring of color and its hum as it spun. I heard a giggle. It lasted only for a second. Then I heard it again but I realized it was not a giggle at all but more like a pained laugh. This time it did not end. I searched the darkness for source of its noise. I ran but seemed to go nowhere.
My protective ring began to unravel. Little threads of color shaved off and exploded as if each shaving were a firework. It thinned and thinned out until only a single line of color no thicker surrounded me. I felt my self fall, falling as if the thread couldn’t support me because it couldn’t. Falling faster and faster I left the line behind. A look of horror covered my face. The line now became a spot-no a speck in the distance. With one last attempt my hands I forced through the air towards it but my efforts did nothing. My eyes closed themselves. The laughter stopped.
For a few minute I felt nothing. Didn’t feel, see, hear, taste, or even smell anything. My eyelids flickered. Glimpses of the hardwood floor and radiator were my first images. I laid there for several minutes letting my body get used to physics again. I pulled my self up into a half sitting half reclining position. I looked around my apartment. It had no bright colors, no floral patterns swirling. Only the same washed out colors as before. I turned my buzzing head towards the ceiling and saw the fan spinning once again.
My stomach lurched into my throat and my body shook as I vomited. Collapsing on the floor I saw only the greens and brown of vomit. I closed my eyes once again but this time it only saw black. I knew I had taken too many and I let these pills take over my life. Well now, because of them I had no life for them to control. My vision is fading. My lags and arms are going numb. The feeling grower even my shaking has been overtaken by the numbness. It has reached my chest but I feel something else a pain in my gut. I want to double over but I can’t. As I close my eyes I wait. Wait for the numbness to reach my heart. It’s taken over my face. I can’t tell whether I’m smiling or if my face is locked in a silent scream. Both lungs are hardly moving. Feeling or the no feeling has reached my heart. The thump in my ears slows and becomes lighter and greater spaced in between.
Now, I hear nothing. I blink once, twice. I do not take a breath for I can’t. I go to blink a third time knowing I will not open my eyes.